Maybe I’m just scared
So far my life has been pretty much great. I have a job, an amazing boyfriend, a roof over my head, food to eat most of the time, clothes on my back. But you see, that’s just it. How long can I actually stay in a good place? in the past I only got to be happy for a few months. Then everyone leaves. My boyfriends in the past always leave, the job doesnt hold up, we lose so much money we have to live off of toast for two weeks. we are with out power for a few weeks. our water gets threatened to be shut off. I just don’t have faith that the past wont repeat itself. Starting college is scary. I don’t know If I’m going to be able to hold it together. Recently all I can think about is my real dad, and all the things i missed out on because he ran out. How I want to see him, to talk to him, tell him I forgive him for leaving me….ask him why he left me….and if he really loved me…I guess im just scared that nothing will hold up and I’ll be let down again. How can I trust what has never been given to me? it’s always just been loaned. Maybe I’m just scared….